Unwelcome reminder of the past

Crisis du jour:

Sewage backup!

I don't know what the average septic tank life is, but the one buried in my back yard has efficiently collected my household's wastewater for nearly 18 years with only occasional Rid-X® treatments. So when it recently began showing signs of age and wear, I wasn't all that surprised — but I was certainly disgusted by the filthy water that was seeping back into my tub and shower.

When the ignore-it-and-it'll-go-away approach stopped working after a couple weeks, a local sump pump service promptly drove out and did its duty. What a relief to put this unpleasant matter behind me!

Watch your step around here

Crisis du jour:

Someone's been outside eating grass again.

Let's face it, there will always be those times when the drive to quickly eliminate a distraction will override my otherwise mindful approach to the situation at hand. Last night was one of those times. During Dancing With The Stars Season 9 finale, I thoughtlessly made a dash across the kitchen's tile floor to free a meowing cat that had gotten stuck in the garage. Before making it to the door, I slipped in cat vomit and fell to the floor, twisting my left knee — the same one that was operated on early last Summer. Then to add insult to injury, I was admonished for trying to one-up Kelly Osborne's bold freestyle fall fwd to 3:15. Call me stubborn, but this knee better get better, because no way will I have surgery on it again. Between last Spring's broken hand and this slow-to-heal knee, I've learned that prevention is key.

Speaking of DWTS, Donny Osmond and his curvaceous partner Kim Johnson were crowned the new champions shortly after my fall. I recognized Osmond's chance of winning first place after watching how well he compared to his professional teammates during Week 7's Team Tango:

Paul Simone - DO NOT HIRE THIS MAN - lying sack of shit - Memphis Cordova landscape landscaper landscaping mow mower mowing - CONTROL FREAK

Whirlwind afternoon

Crisis du jour:

In the path of a tornado!

No warning siren, and boy was it fast! One minute the Bradford Pear tree was there, then when I looked again it was in pieces on the ground. Very little structure damage in our neighborhood, but the place is a mess of broken trees, some torn up by the roots.

Thankfully, my brave little ginkgo is standing strong and healthier than ever. It's barely taller than me now, and at ginkgo speed may even reach six feet in several years.

Maggie's first tornado


Tags: · "Olive Branch" · "Mississippi" · "tornado" · "Olive Branch tornado"

No more kitten drama!

Crisis du jour:

Whatever's preying on these kittens at night doesn't intend to stop.

Another sleep-deprived night in which unknown assailants harassed Kitty and her litter of kittens has inspired me to lock the babies up overnight in pet taxis. We are, after all, officially fostering them until they're adopted through a local animal rescue organization, and I feel responsible for their safety. With four cats already in the house (mine plus Lori's three), bringing them indoors isn't an option.

Frankly, I think these kittens need a full night's rest after playing so hard during the day. Now that they've discovered life beyond the back porch, their favorite hangout is an overgrown spirea shrub where they hide and plan surprise attacks on one another. I don't expect a single one of my abused cannas to bloom this summer, and that little wheelbarrow with the flowers "spilling out" of it is a complete disaster.

What a mess!

* Update on the injured kitten:

After studying animal care on the Internet, Sarah has been applying warm compresses to the kitten's wound each night, which opens it up painlessly and allows more pus to drain (lovely!). Since she and the kitten have really bonded, Sarah's named it Madison has decided to keep this one instead of her first choice.

Besides, she learned from the vet that Ella is a little boy. And not just any little boy. After all the growlies over a dead vole that Mama Kitty drug up on the porch, he's evidently the alpha male of the litter. I left him alone until he stopped batting it around and began chewing it up. Sure, the dishes and food and bedding and kennels on the porch are a mess, but I draw the line at bloody guts all over the place.

A meanie in our midst

Crisis du jour:

An injured kitten

Upon returning home late Sunday, I learned that one of the Siamese-look twins had suffered some injuries the previous night. Sarah found the kitten curled up on the ground Sunday morning, soaking wet with rain and shivering from shock. Since Lori worked at Cat-n-Cow during high school, she shaved the hair from a skin laceration on the kitten's side, then treated it with antiseptic.

Today's visit to the vet revealed a smaller puncture wound parallel to the one that Lori discovered -- an obvious cat or snake bite. After lots of pus was drained from the area, we returned home with an antibiotic.

Don't try this at home

Crisis du jour:

Another casualty of the tile floor

• Accident: Kicked over the cat's bowl
• Another accident: Slipped in the spilled water
• Mistake: Used a fancy one-handed save maneuver
• Diagnosis: Fracture · 3rd metacarpal
• Result: 4 - 6 week vacation from blogging

Good mews

Kitty's been especially restless during her mealtime visits for the last several days. What a blessing that Sarah decided to join her on the back porch this evening -- Kitty began laboring before she could even finish her supper.

She's had two kittens since this photo was taken almost an hour ago. Although Kitty's noticeably thinner already, Sarah thinks she feels about four more.

Last month's related post:

Is she or isn't she?

Updates:

8:10p With two kittens

8:50p Two kittens

9:25p Still only two kittens

·

9:30p The new mother with her first two kittens

11:30p Kitty's resting and nursing her five newborns after being moved into a large pet taxi.

---

I'm intrigued by how well things fell into place tonight:

• After a pair of neighborhood dogs had shown up to harass Kitty during her supper, she was so hissing-mad that I suggested Sarah come back indoors. She stayed though, and helped Kitty through several hours of difficult labor.
• Sarah heard and then saw signs of coyotes in the vicinity, possibly attracted to the smell of fresh meat. I suspect the kittens (and perhaps even Kitty) wouldn't have survived the night if she'd chosen to nest in an unsecured spot and have her kittens alone.
• And to top it off, Sarah's on Spring Break, so there's no concerns about getting to bed for an early morning. How great is that?

Is she or isn't she?

Crisis du Jour:

Another mouth to feed — and this one might be pregnant.

Although I live in a peacefully dog-less household, this doesn't mean I've ever thought I need one around to eat leftovers ... because I do. Several neighbor mutts stroll through my back yard each day for table scraps. One even has me trained to respond to his bark by showing up at the door with food. Although their frequent visits discourage stray cats in the area, one wild female has hung around for at least six months and has grown increasingly dependent on me for healthy meals. You could say she's got me even better trained than the dogs do.

Kitty's appetite has become so difficult to satisfy this winter that I've begun to suspect she's eating for a litter of kittens in her belly.

I'd like that even less than some of the other unwelcome varmints that are attracted to Friskies Gourmet Salmon Dinner:

When it's not just a cold

Crisis du Jour:

That hot-hot feeling burning inside the bridge of my nose up through my eyeballs means only one thing: My annual sinus infection.

Although these take longer to recover from with each passing year, I still avoid running for a quickie shot of penicillin in the hopes that my body will remember its pattern of defending itself against infectious disease ... and because I hate going to the doctor's office anyway. There's just something mildly humiliating about verifying whether the goo coming from my nasal cavity is clear, yellowish, or deep green in color.

So while my white blood cells are doing their thing, I follow several useful habits developed from my years of experience:

• Treat symptoms with various OTC medications, including Advil Cold & Sinus, Nyquil/Dayquil, Mucinex.
• At least one hot steamy shower per day.
• Stock up on a half-dozen or so Puff's Plus® with lotion -- no other brand, no other type of Puffs. I can typically work my way through the first Family Size box quickly, and then begin following the convenient clean-to-dirty pattern illustrated below:

Pore little thing

Crisis du Jour:

I was just trying to put the cat out!

But when I cracked the front door open a few inches, a critter flew inside. One that's bigger, faster and lots more frantic than a June bug.

Although I've admired this wren (or one like it) around the yard since last Spring, both the bird and I wanted it to return to the great outdoors.

Since timing was bad for a portrait,
this image is courtesy of Hilton Pond Center

The good news:
After the wren flew itself half to death, it sat on the floor and awaited its fate, where I captured it using my proven catch-and-release method. This worked on a lizard that I discovered indoors last summer, and also for my mother when she removed a varmint from her home last month:

• Corral the animal under a plastic bowl.
• Slowly and carefully to avoid injury, slide one of those thin flexible cutting mats underneath it.
• Then slide a sturdy surface (like a large cutting board) under the flimsy mat.
• Carry the corraled animal back outdoors where it belongs and set it free!

The bad news:
As I sat here composing the happy ending to this story, there was a loud KATHUNK from the patio. I glanced up to see a big ole bird of prey (either hawk or owl) sitting amongst the crabapples. It promptly took off for the woods, probably with the exhausted wren in its clutches.

As my little friend was being torn apart, I stepped out back and noticed a tiny cup of water I'd kept in its favorite container plant since July. Nature can be so cruel.

On a lighter note ...
As for the cat, it's the most fun she's had all month. Come to think of it, it's also the best physical exercise either of us has had since the last unwanted creature got in the house.

Again?

Crisis du Jour:

Another swarm of June bugs ... in October!

This current deluge isn't just annoying like its predecessors; it's downright dangerous. I didn't dare let the cat out for fear she'd be pummeled half to death. Some wise guy has swapped out one of the standard bulbs in the Bug Killer Fan with a black light, and I can't help but wonder if it's to blame for attracting these critters.

I realize that among the twigs and toad poop, it looks as though this speedy guy was the only survivor, but this new variety's hardy and he had plenty of company:

Maybe they're migrating south for the winter? (That's just my way of hoping they were here for only an overnight stay.)

Lessons learned

Crisis du Jour:

Poorly-stored Christmas treasures at the hands of an unwelcome guest in my attic

This ornamental elfin caricature of my daddy, complete with cute schnoz and name emblazoned on his pure heart*, has been the perfect touch to my parents' household each Christmas. I recently had to break the sad news that a hungry critter's ate it half up:

*Old family joke

In the hopes that others will learn from this mistake ...

My lesson:
Rubbermaid storage containers are worth the small investment.

My parents' lesson:
Anything put away for temporary safekeeping ... shouldn't be left at Carla's!

Someone tell them it's July

Crisis du Jour:

The heaviest onslaught of June bugs this household's ever seen

Thanks to the one-of-a-kind, custom made Bug Killer Fan installed over my front porch, I awoke this morning to a collection of several hundred dead and dying June bugs lying underneath it. I hope the extra sweeping chore is rewarded by stepping outdoors after dark tonight without being pelted by a swarm of the icky critters.

All this from a six-foot-square area

Bad news / Good news:

• June bugs taste bad: Even toads that try to eat them end up spitting them right back out.
• Poor marketability: Although one website suggested roasting and grinding them into a medicinal bug soup, I suspect Carla's Organic June Bug Farm would be more trouble than it's worth due to high employee turnover.
• The good news: Now I know what all those disgusting worms are that I keep digging up when I weed the flowerbeds.
• More good news: There's no patent on the bug-killing gizmo, so feel free to copycat this design. And who knows, it might even end up being the best-selling As Seen On TV product of all time.

Complete with smeared guts and imbedded insect carcasses
Click on the image for an action demo

Hint: The secret of the BKF lies in its bug-attracting lights (standard bulbs) and its two-dozen-per-blade swatters. For maximum kills, set to High.