Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Someone tell them it's July

Crisis du Jour:

The heaviest onslaught of June bugs this household's ever seen

Thanks to the one-of-a-kind, custom made Bug Killer Fan installed over my front porch, I awoke this morning to a collection of several hundred dead and dying June bugs lying underneath it. I hope the extra sweeping chore is rewarded by stepping outdoors after dark tonight without being pelted by a swarm of the icky critters.

All this from a six-foot-square area
Supper anyone?

Bad news / Good news:

  • June bugs taste bad: Even toads that try to eat them end up spitting them right back out.
  • Poor marketability: Although one website suggested roasting and grinding them into a medicinal bug soup, I suspect Carla's Organic June Bug Farm would be more trouble than it's worth due to high employee turnover.
  • The good news: Now I know what all those disgusting worms are that I keep digging up when I weed the flowerbeds.
  • More good news: There's no patent on the bug-killing gizmo, so feel free to copycat this design. And who knows, it might even end up being the best-selling As Seen On TV product of all time.

Complete with smeared guts and imbedded insect carcasses
Click on the image for an action demo
Introducing the one-and-only Bug Killer Fan

Hint: The secret of the BKF lies in its bug-attracting lights (standard bulbs) and its two-dozen-per-blade swatters. For maximum kills, set to High.

3 comments:

  1. Love the blog. Stay with it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. seems like I saw this gizmo for killing bugs and asked about it. We have determined that our bug killer (the standard big light kind) kills some bugs. Seems like it killed more moths than anything else.

    ReplyDelete
  3. re: It zaps moths dead
    That's an excellent observation!

    Studies several years ago prompted consumer alerts that not only are bug zappers ineffective at killing flies and disease-carrying mosquitos, but they end up increasing the populations of bugs that bug us by killing the insects that prey on them.

    But don't just take my word for it: Zappers Zap the Good Bugs

    ReplyDelete

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